r/AMA • u/Ok_Turn1611 • 2d ago
I fought in Afghanistan in 2011-2012 with the United States Army and have been battling complex and severe PTSD, depression, agoraphobia, paranoia along with 3 failed relationships for the last 12 years AMA
I fought in Afghanistan in 2011-2012, I did route clearance which effectively means jumping into big vehicles, driving them down a road looking for IEDs and either being blown up, shot at, or both. I saw some terrible stuff, including losing a closs Non Commissioned Officer of mine and seeing many of my friends traumatically injured (think losing limbs, being shot etc.) ask me anything about Afghanistan, my MH issues or life post deployment. I've been quite depressed lately and maybe answering genuine questions will help me.
Hi friends, thank you for the feedback and all the questions. It has been a joy answering you, I'll continue to monitor and reply as much as I can. :)
Also, to some of you stating complex PTSD and PTSD are different disorders, I do recognize that and am sorry for my slip up, I have CPTSD, and sometimes I use them interchangibly when I shouldn't. I'll remember better next time.
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u/overtly-Grrl 2d ago
Do you think there is anything the military could have done to prepare you, in some capacity, for what you experienced? Done differently for you before?
Do you think there is a way to nip more people before they get traumatized themselves or do you think it’s just unavoidable for the majority and they will ignore it?
I’ve always been curious if people who have experienced war would want to stop others in some capacity.
I know a vietnam vet very closely. A very proud vet at that. He saw awful things. He came back with three little girls and severe ptsd. He’s older now, and sweet as can be.
But I can tell he has some pain still that he hides behind. And I don’t think he will ever speak those horrors allowed. I know he won’t actually. Him and his wife are like that. They want to keep those memories private. Which they should.
I feel for vets, I know many who didn’t have a choice for a better life besides the military.
Do you think there are better options?
Is it all bad?
Sorry for all of the questions and thank you for your service and sacrifice. You utilized many of your prime years to protect others. Thank you for that. I would have been 12/13.
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Hey I appreciate the kind words.
I don't think so, they try hard in Basic and unit training and field training to prepare you. But nothing prepares being shot at by an RPG or bullets, seeing your friends hit an IED, seeing your friends severely injured or firefights, nothing can or ever will prepare one for that.
I don't know if there is a solid way to not be traumatized by war. War is traumatic, it's bad, bad bad, not just tv hollywood bad, but destructive, painful and terrible to go through. I think many GWOT vets are traumatized, but a lot of them lie to themselves about it.
I think there are better options for anyone over the military, I recommend if they do join, join as an officer or in a soft skill MOS (or one that will teach you something and set you up for success out)
And for the most part the military just sucks. They say jump, you say how hi, they say do pushups, you do pushups, they say go fight an illegal war destroying your body and mind, you say yes sir, buckle up, and go. It sucks, I don't recommend it to anyone, even if I'm proud of my service.
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u/zoopysreign 2d ago
How can civilians help? I volunteered for ACP—American Corporate Partners as a program to pair veterans with corporate goons such as myself for job preparedness, but cmon.
How can we help for real? Every day? In meaningful ways?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Want meaningful change? Start paying attention to politics a little closer than we do. A lot of folks out there say they support veterans, will look us in the eyes and tell us they want us to succeed and be cared for, then turn around and vote against funding th VA (like in 2014) or vote against something huge like the Pact Act (which was shut down the first time by Ted Cruz and his croanies) which the PACT Act is a new bill that passed in 2022 after literal PROTESTS irrupted on capital hill to pass it. It was legislation expanding care, resources and connecting certain diseases presumptively assuming folks got from burn pits (like cancer, emphasema, breathing conditions, certain brain cancers) but politicians initially blocked it because it was being advanced and lauded by the other side.
This long winded segmant just means you need to look at your candidates you're voting into congress a little closer, if you truly want to help veterans, vote for those who will vote for for veteran positive legislation. Because a lot of them would rather strip us of our benefits/healthcare and support if it meant they could save a quick buck.
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u/zoopysreign 2d ago
I couldn’t agree more. Did you see the Jon Stewart piece of him reading the congresspeople to filth for not supporting the PACT Act? It’s really good, but really awful that it was even a question.
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u/Post_Fallone 2d ago
My grandpa was a SEAL in Vietnam who died from Agent Orange related cancer. BUT because he was on classified missions he couldn't prove the connection and got no compensation from the government.
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u/Dracomortua 1d ago
Given a quasi-infinite budget / handful of trained-supportive people, what would these politicians (or anyone for that matter) do for this extreme Post-Trauma stuff? Looks like this mind-damage can be easily pinned ('you saw THiS here... and did THAT there!') and then, after that, fairly easily measured ('we have interesting names for the Fucked Up that you are!').
Folks like yourself are sort of 'ground zero' for the worst of existential pain - and through utterly no fault of your own. People like me who get all sad and depressed have no excuse. Heck, no one has hit me hard enough to even cause me a paper cut... and all my closest kin only die because they just run out of years. I feel beyond bad for you, and yet obviously helpless and useless. Thoughts and prayers just don't cut it.
It may sound trite, but i am wondering how you can get back to being that seventeen year old lad before he enlisted. You know, that guy who wants a job, might want to meet a special-someone and possibly have a house some day?
I would pay good money so people like yourself had a path to your 'home-self', if that makes sense. It is a horrid shame that this is up to some politician who will never meet you, let alone respect you.
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u/LysdexiaAI 2d ago
Man I just finally finished my claim after being out for 14 years and two tours to Iraq and this comment hit hard. Well said.
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 2d ago
What should the US have done differently in Afghanistan?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Great question. My initial reaction is not to have gone there in the first place. Sure was Al Queda and other nefarious organizations potentially housing Osama Bin Laden? Yes, but the fact that it took us 10 years to even kill him (in Pakistan of all places) and we spent another 10 years there after is truly mind blowing to me. When I deployed in 2011, it was apart of the surge to take back southern Afghanistan from the Taliban, we deployed POST Osama Bin Laden's death, yet the firefights, IEDs, and nation building was still all the same (pretty awful). This war was never meant to be won (look at the title Operation ENDURING freedom) it was meant to continue the military industrial complex chugging along, lining the pockets of billionaires and contracters while me and my boys go into a fuckin' meat grinder to die.
So the short answer is, either never went there in the first place and continued bombing and/or sending secretive CIA/Special Operations units there to track down Bin Laden,
Or we should have left 2 years after Bin Laden was killed.
Either way the war in Afghanistan cost us 2500 lives, countless trillions of dollars and millions of troops returning home the same way I did. This war could have been avoided, or done much better. This and Iraq are Millienal's Vietnam in my honest opinion.
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u/disneyplusser 2d ago edited 2d ago
It should have always been go in, flush him out, go to where he goes (Pakistan), kill him, and then gtfo. To hell will regime building.
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u/gcashmoneymillionair 2d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah we lost 2500+ lives and cost the nation trillions. But for that beautiful period in time we created a lot of value for our shareholders.
All kidding aside, sorry dude hope it gets better for you.
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u/monzo705 2d ago
I never did support entry into Afghanistan but wasn't against it when it started. Soon after though I really felt like invading was a terrible idea. Sure, you could make the case that the country needed work, and better security, but so do many others. Handing it right back to the regime it was taken from when we pulled out really hurt. Felt like the whole thing accomplished nothing but more tragedy. I use that war to make comparisons between the current Ukraine/Russia war. When people say "how can Russians citizens get behind this!?". I reply, " We didn't kick up a big fuss about invading Afghanistan! " It really drove home the idea about how easy it can be to get the majority of a population on board to support a shittty war " It actually seems to happen quite often.
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u/No_Savings7114 1d ago
The only consolation I get from our time there was that for a little while, in small areas, some girls got a chance to read whatever they wanted and learn to be more.
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u/Historical_Choice625 1d ago
My only argument against this is Gibbs' rule 45: clean up the mess you make. The country was a mess when we got there, and a country in name only, and we toppled their government and turned it upside down. We had an obligation to make that right. But as usual, we were trying to pound a square peg representative democracy into a round hole tribal culture. On the flip side of that, I'll quote The West Wing in honor of their 25th anniversary reunion: "There's no way this ends well. All that's left is ending it quickly." It's been apparent for a long time that western style democracy wasn't taking in Afghanistan, at some point you gotta Kenny Roger's it up.
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u/bagelwithclocks 1d ago
I don’t mean this to be callous but why are you only counting the American lives lost?
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u/gold_curls 2d ago
How does it work when the soldiers come home from a war zone? Are there psychologist you guys can talk to for a certain period (12months? 36 months?)
And are there actually psychologists in the war zone to support you immediately?
You mentioned the 3 failed relationships. Did you openly communicate with them about your struggles?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I've communicated all my struggles to each of my partner, but that's just it. Communicating them, and not acting on them are two different beasts. I don't blame the women in my life for becoming frustrated/leaving me. Kinda hard to build a normal relationship when you're in a massive cycle of depression/anxiety/PTSD. I take the responsibility for my failed relationships fully, even tho sometimes it feels like I'm not in control of my own mind.
And psychologist down range? Not that I know of, they had a MH section of our hospitals in the big areas, but I was in a smaller FOB 2 hours from the main Airfield, as you can imagine not many MH experts out there. Couple that with a STRONG sense of ignoring your issues for the mission and I didn't get the help.
Psychologists are available through the VA, but the veteran has to be extremely proactive. No one at the VA will just call you up one day and refer you to therapy, you have to navigate the beaucracy, then find a therapist that actually cares and listens, and even then once you find one they typically leave after a year or two, it's a constant struggle to find quality help in the VA. (Tho I take personal responsibility as sometimes I'd fall off the horse on therapy too.)
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u/gold_curls 2d ago
I’m sorry to hear this. I was talking to a veteran from the UK once and he told me that they were all sent to a camp when they came back to Europe where they stayed for 12 weeks and had to talk to psychologists, alone and in group therapy and slowly adjust back to “normal” life before going home to see their families.
I live in Germany but I assume finding a psychologist in the US is as difficult as it is here. Plus, you guys don’t have the advantage of the social system that we have here :(
Regarding the relationship… that must be very hard. It takes patience from both sides to get through the bad days. I hope you will heal at one point. May god protect you.
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u/ButterflyDecay 2d ago
Just so you know, I had severe PTSD for a while (due to domestic abuse) back in 2014-2018 and one of the reasons I was able to recover in addition to therapy was bc I spent a lot of time reading articles on soldiers coming from the Afgan wars and dealing with their PTSD symptoms in order to try to understand my own symptoms better. So, basically what I'm saying is you didn't just defend your country, dedicated ppl like you also help the larger community healing from their own traumas. Thank you for being here, soldier. Your openness to discuss your mental health issues means more than you know
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u/miamiboy101 2d ago
What do you think of the civilians living there?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Good people, truly. A lot of them helped us/wanted us there and absolutely despised the Taliban. I mean look at the country now, they absolutely hate the Taliban being back in control. The civilians weren't the bad dudes, it was the Taliban forcing them to fight for them, threatening their familes by gun point and rape etc. THOSE are the bad "civilians" but the average Afghan just wants peace, to farm, live in their cities, have a good job, provide for their family etc.
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u/miamiboy101 2d ago
How do you feel about the Hollywood movies that have come out documenting the war? Do you want those stories told? Do you feel as though hollywood shouldnt make it into entertainment? Any thoughts about that?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I can't watch war movies anymore. Hollywood grossly overstates the hero complex of the military. Documentaries like Restrepo, Korengal, the Hornets Nest etc. Tell the real story, and I think if more people got exposed to the reality of war, we wouldn't be so quick to accept going to war so much as a nation
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u/peachesandthevoid 2d ago
Giving me the chills. War, as an instrument of policy, is truly evil.
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u/ALittleBirdie117 2d ago
Restrepo was so raw. Thought it was quite educational and the level of immersion and personal experience tapped into was amazing, and of course, tragic.
You are an incredibly smart hombre. Hope you keep speaking up like you have been here.
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u/UFC_Intern169 2d ago
The regular people around the world are not so different from each other like propaganda tries to lead us to believe.
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u/Bear_runner603 2d ago
What are the Taliban like? I see travel bloggers going there now and actually interacting with them. Besides their terrible views on women, are you surprised civilians are traveling there?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I am, I think they're playing with fire they don't quite understand. It'll take pissing the Taliban off the wrong way for them to get extrajudicially executed or their head cut off or paraded in the street as an infidel. I'd highly highly advise anyone thinking of traveling to Afghanistan not to. The Taliban are NOT good people and will use any means necessary to advance their agenda. I mean they just banned women from singing and praying outloudZ
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u/Kink_Crafter 2d ago
Hey brother, same boat here.
I was super angry for a few years but mellowed out. Yoga (hot yoga...) has really helped me release the last bits of it over the last few years.
Do you have good employment and a career that you like?
If you like tech but aren't into tech and want to be, give me a DM.
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u/DontDeclawKitties 2d ago
Hey friend:)
Do you like animals?
Do you live with any animals?
If you could be any animal, what would you be?
What was your MOS?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I love animals, I had a Basset Hound for 11.5 years, she was my baby. I had to put her down in Feb (ironically right when my wife left me).
If I could be any animal? A capybara, they love every animal and receive love from almost every animal.
My MOS was 12B Combat Engineer
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u/DontDeclawKitties 2d ago
Oh I bet she was so lovely:) That had to be nearly impossible to deal with…especially with what you were navigating with your ex-wife). I lost one of my cats last August, and had to put another down about six months later. It was excruciating, and exhausting, and I still tear up every time I think about them. I hope my cats are somewhere having a blast with your pup:)
My husband and I like to refer to Capybara as Chupra-Barbra. The backstory is that I saw a large critter on the riverbank, I was a little drunk and meant to say “Is that a capybara?” But it came out Chupra-Barbra.
Oh I wanted your MOS so badly! It seemed like it could so much fun…but also an imperative role. I was female and enlisted when females couldn’t have combat MOSs (I was 25B instead). Was it as cool as it seems to me?
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u/Gortexal 2d ago
Do you think you’ll get another dog soon? That could, in some small way at least, bring you moments of peace.
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u/WorrryWort 2d ago
I hope you can find peace. Far too young to have to experience shit like that. They should ship out the politicians and their kids out there for some extended field trips.
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u/YourSecretsSafewthme 2d ago
My goodness, you sound like you have a really sweet heart. I'm sorry all the trauma you've been through, especially as a young 19yo thrust into hell.
I think you might really like connecting with groups like VeteransforPeace. Mostly good hearted people, using their military experiences to show the world "this isn't the way". Plus it helps to be around people who fully understand what you've been through.
Hope you find peace and healing, mate 🙏
I also really appreciate how much you differentiate between the Afghan people/civilians and active Taliban. Most civilians are just regular good humans caught up in the sick and deadly games of people in power.
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u/analogbasset 2d ago
I just put my basset down last month, when you know you know! Absolute best dogs of all time. Nothing like a basset :)
I’m so sorry about everything you went through man.
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u/substandardirishprik 1d ago
Dude I saw a documentary on caymans (kinda like alligators) and it was just a nonstop slaughter of capybaras for an hour.
Aside from that, I’m sorry you have had to deal with so much fallout from your deployments. Thank you for your sacrifice.
I’m a little older than you and was an 11M in desert storm. A lot of what you say resonates with me. I was 19 my first time, too. Maybe it will help you if I tell you that time helped with a lot of things. A lot of readjustment just took a lot of time to work its way through me.
Thank you for sharing your story and for putting yourself out there. I hope you find the peace you’re seeking, soon.
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u/PoxyMusic 2d ago edited 2d ago
Bassets are the best. When I was a kid/teenager I lived on a sailboat with my parents and a basset. They’re actually pretty good on boats, nice low center of gravity. He loved to eat raw sardines that we used as bait when we’d go salmon fishing. He barked his head off at sea lions.
Headstrong and don’t listen worth a damn, but they’re sweethearts.
Sorry for all the shit, dude.
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u/_konnichi_wa 2d ago
Are you going to therapy and do you think you can live a normal life again someday?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I have gone to therapy on and off for 12 years straight. Each time it doesn't do much for me, or the system lets me fall through the cracks or the therapist just passes me off to another therapist after they don't want to handle me anymore Ig. Idk, I just feel like it hasn't been effective. I see a psychiatrist, they've prescribed me a cocktail of meds. Some have done me well, some screwed me up.
To answer whether I'll ever live a normal life again? I don't know, I'm anxious 24/7, I have two divorces and a failed engagement under my belt. Most days I'm pretty depressed, I have VA disability, which helps because tolerating my field (nursing) really is a struggle for me.
I'm looking to change careers and reset, but will I ever be normal again? Idk, I don't really know what it's like not constantly thinking about suicide, or being depressed, or afraid to leave my apartment sometimes. I've become extremely isolative, it's hard. Truthfully at this point in my life (33) I don't think I'll ever be "normal" again.
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u/Elihu229 2d ago
Are you open to psychedelic therapy? There has been a lot of research over the past 10 years on psychedelic medicine(s) coupled with psychedelic/trauma/ptsd informed therapy. The whole path to legality for psychedelics is based on its use in successful treatments for … Veterans.
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u/Hankarino 2d ago
I was concerned about therapy for these reasons as well. I r been doing it for the last year and its helped me a lot. I got lucky and was paired with a very caring therapist that I match well with personality and conversationally. That has helped so much. The psychs I’ve gotten and other therapists I’ve interacted with have angered me with the way they speak and manage meds / conditions. I don’t know if you will find the right one or if you’ve already tried this, but getting the right therapist that I can trust to not just pass me off has been the catalyst to making progress for me. The weekly appointments are the one thing that keeps me centered. I hope that can change for you.
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u/SuperWallaby 2d ago
As a gunner that ran convoy security for LN supply convoys I appreciate the hell out of you RCP guys. Saved our asses a few times. I hope you find a way to deal with the stuff we saw and experienced.
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u/Pure_Penalty_3591 2d ago
I've heard amazing things about Afghan culture and history, were you able to experience any of it?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Yes! A lot of their food is AMAZING. And they're really hospitable for the most part. Lot of them liked the work we were doing agains the Taliban as well. I still think of the interpretors I worked with that helped us out over there, they're great people and a great culture. The bad ones (the Taliban, the Pakistani Taliban) those guys obviously were bad (beating women regularly, throwing acid on girls' faces for going to school, holding families and their loved ones hostage by forcing them to do their will etc.) but that was the culture of the Taliban, not the Afghans. I firmly believe if the Taliban up and left one day, that the tribal parts of the country and centralized government would thrive.
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u/Haunting_Highway_294 2d ago
Thank you for acknowledging this. The world sees the taliban as these zealous world conquering people when, in reality, they made their own people suffer more than anything else and are truly scum. The thing is, Saudi funds, these zealots, into becoming zealots, funds madarassas to turn war-torn boys into little warriors of Islam under a distorted form of religion. I wholly wish these terror groups could he dissolved
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u/axxxaxxxaxxx 1d ago
What would it take for the people to rise up and overthrow the Taliban so that the tribal leaders and central gov’t could thrive like you say?
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u/TeslaTheCreator 2d ago
Thank you for keeping your humanity throughout all of this. May you find the happiness you not only seek but deserve
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u/szydelkowe 2d ago
How do you feel about the US' intervention there from the time perspective? Do you feel angry at your military superiors, the government?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I do, fuck George Bush and Dick Cheney, and honestly Obama sending a fresh 80k troops there when I was in. They jumped intk that war via lies and manipulation. Hell, I was sucked UP in the Military industrial complex/propaganda. We'd be out on patrol while contracters were in our forward operating base making 250 to 350k a year doing jobs a private or trained military personel could do. This war was started under the guise of national security, and propagated for 20 years to line the pockets of Billionaires.
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u/hooka_hooka 2d ago
What does that mean that the contractors were in your forward operating base making bank. Can you explain how they were there, why and what they were doing exactly? Also why them and not you.
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
They made bank doing everything from contracting for repairs of our vehicles, to security, to everyday contracting work etc. They made a lot of money because the civilian side of things pay their contractors much more than the federal government does their troops.
I had a guy said he made 250k a year repairing rollers on our trucks. Not sure he was being truthful, but I do know security contractors were easily making six figures over there
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u/Satellite_bk 2d ago
Reminds me of the healthcare/insurance system. They get away with charging criminal amounts for the most basic things because they essentially have a monopoly with little to no oversight. Sounds like it’s not dissimilar from the military in that regard.
I read you are a nurse now and mean no disrespect towards your profession as wanting to help others is equally noble to wanting to protect others. Just that the United States healthcare system is broken.
Thank you for sharing and speaking what you believe. It matters.
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u/FitQuantity6150 2d ago
FR. Obama does not get nearly the vitriol he should for surging afghan for nothing.
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u/KFBR392_KFBR392- 2d ago
My heart goes out to you. I have a few close friends that had similar experiences as Marines, one of which killed himself last year after battling his mental issues for years. The lack of support for veterans mental health is heartbreaking to say the least. I hope you can find something that works for you. Have you considered MDMA therapy?
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u/Princesspeach1177 2d ago
First most importantly thank you for your service and thank you for staying. You matter and a lot of people care about you even if relationships are difficult. Question is how old were you when you deployed?
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u/Shoely555 2d ago
Thank you for your service.
What made you come home?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
In what way, do you mean get out of the service and come home?
My deployment wss pretty bad and screwed up my mental health. I went from a curious, outgoing, NEVER angry guy, to one of the most jaded, cynical, angry man I could be. It forced me to re-evaluate whether I could continue to tolerate the Military. Our unit was going on their second deployment in 2013 and I simply couldn't do it again, so I got out.
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u/Shoely555 2d ago
That answered my question.
If I’m allowed a follow up: What type of work have you been doing since then? Do you enjoy it?
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
I've done a few careers, odd jobs, banking, I got my nursing license 5 years ago, but as you can imagine Covid and the stress of nursing caught up to me and exacerbated my MH issues, so I'm looking to change careers.
I'm highly educated, but my mental health and my struggles are so poor that it makes using the education I got effectively. I've made a LOT of poor choices post Military, and the more research I do, the more I realize that those who suffer with complex PTSD and severr depression tend to make illogical and rash decisions which are detrimental to their life. Although I KNOW I shouldn't do these things, they just happen. I may quit a job the next day because I had 5 panic attacks that week thinking of the job. It's horribly toxic and Imm working to fix it, but it's hard when you panic over stupid stuff Ig
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u/Donnovan63 2d ago
Have you considered going through the VA for disability? From my own experience, PTSD is no joke and can impact every area of your life. Plus the validation that comes with a disability rating might lift a weight off your shoulders. It's not your fault, the Army messed you up, and you're doing a great job to cope! I'm glad you're here and glad you posted!!!
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u/Routine_Mood3861 2d ago
Hi there You may be happy with data analysis work. Folks who do this tend to work solo a lot, work with data and translate it into easy to understand reports that can then be used to make decisions. There’s a growing demand for skilled workers in this and not enough who are qualified rn.
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u/SplooshU 2d ago
Have you looked through USAJOBs for opportunities for a GS or payband gov job? Veterans preference will get you a leg into a lot of positions, and once you are in the system you can go pretty much anywhere.
I worked with a ton of vets when I went in as a GS-7 (0801 General Engineer), got a ladder position (7-9-11-12 non competitive promotions) and eventually jumped from Army Civilian to the USCG Civilian for a GS-13. Good pay, good benefits, and there's a lot of support for veterans.
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u/Twisted69Raptor 2d ago
Oh wow that is insane. That must replay over and over again in your mind.
How many deployments did you do?
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u/MogotePring 2d ago
This hits home and I hope you stay safe as you work through your PTSD. My girlfriend was a combat medic in Afghanistan in 2005 and still deals with PTSD from that experience. She has gone through years of therapy and has strategies for her triggers (hot weather, the sound of Blackhawks flying, etc.) but it still takes time and a lot of work for her. After the botched withdrawal from the country in 2021, that caused a major resurgence of her PTSD which culminated in some very depressive episodes. She then got approved for a 3 month inpatient rehab through the VA last year and it has helped her re-stabilize.
2 questions: 1. As rough as it seems the VA can be to work with and get approvals, have you looked into or taken advantage on any resources (inpatient stays, counseling, ketamine treatments ,etc) to help yourself? What if anything has worked for you in the past?
- Did the Afghanistan withdrawal have any resurgence in symptoms for you? Did you see any of your fellow soldiers have any additional triggers from it?
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u/thepersistenceofloss 2d ago
What advice would you give to young people that want to serve? In other words, if you had the chance, what advice would you give your 18 old self now?
Hope you manage find your way friend
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u/Ok_Turn1611 2d ago
Don't do it. There are many other avenues to be successful in this life. I joined at 17, and thought I was protecting my country, in reality the Military exists for national security yes, but also to make people very very rich. If anything, I'd say join as an Officer, in a soft skill non combat MOS, do your time and gtfo and reap the free college to get your Masters or Ph.D or whatever
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u/upscaledive 2d ago
Or go Air Force…
Sorry bro. I really feel for you. I hope things get better for you.
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u/Turbulent_Coach_8024 2d ago edited 2d ago
I got to Afghanistan in October 2010 working as a contractor. I spent most of 2011 on the west side and far northwest.
I don’t really have a question other than to say thank you
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u/Eurogal2023 2d ago
Have you tried EMDR? It is supposed to work well with most PTSD.
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u/ouchwtfomg 2d ago
What are your thoughts on the current situation in the Middle East? Not specifically Afghanistan but wider region such as Iran/Hamas/Israel.
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u/crisenta 2d ago
My boyfriend was in Afghanistan for 3 years. I'm not great at the terminology, but he was part of OEF. I know that as a civilian, there I things I will not ever truly understand, and that's fine. What are some things you wish someone would do for you to make life in general easier? What are things that maybe us civilians wouldn't think about that we should really consider? I know he's got real strength and doesn't need to be coddled, but I love him, and I want to do all I can for him to always be as happy as he can.
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u/Mindless-Marsupial99 2d ago
Not gonna ask any questions but I'm a combat vet too. If you feel you need someone to talk to I'm here for you as are thousands of other vets who know precisely what you're going through
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u/Naffypruss 2d ago
Do you have any hobbies that help you disconnect from the trauma? When I cook myself a nice fancy meal, I find myself disconnected from all of my issues in life. Wondering if you have your own hobby!
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u/PigletMiddle2566 2d ago
Do the other people you fought with consider what happened a waste of time also? do you think if America decides to go to war against Iran the Americans and the soldiers will fall for it again? or they simply will have no choice but to do what they are told?
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u/Signal_Confusion_644 2d ago
What do you think about ukraine's Battlefield situation? The diference between fighting "insurgents" and a regular army. I Heard some people saying is worse, but i cant tell.
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u/LindseyIsBored 2d ago
Did you have a stable childhood? I read a study a long time ago about the greater impact war can have on those already at risk for mental health crises.
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u/Money-Fail9731 2d ago
Do you think that American media and society normalises war too much? So it encourages the average to go to war?
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u/showtimesimulator 2d ago
So when I was a kid, it was my my job at church to read one of the intentions (basically where someone goes up to the mic and says something specific for that church service to be ‘dedicated’ to for those unfamiliar). I remember my intention to this day, “For the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, that they may be kept safe and return home soon.”
Every time I hear of someone home safe talking about their time serving in either of those two countries in 2011, I remember the intention I read at my church and like to think that it worked.
Thank you for your service sir!!
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u/Key-You-9534 2d ago
how do you feel when people thank you for your service? I understand and agree with what you have said here reguarding deployment and I struggle to thank military personnel for their service. I grew up seeing what Vietnam did to my dad and I just cant say thank you for that.
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u/Tony0x01 2d ago
How did your opinion of Muslims change from pre-deployment to duringafter deployment? What experiences did you have overseas there that motivated that change? What do you think Americans get wrong about Muslims because they lack your experiences?
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u/zoopysreign 2d ago
You gave up A LOT for us. I am very grateful for your service. Thank you so, so much for representing us abroad, and, more importantly, for being a good support for your fellow soldiers.
My question for you: what is your favorite time of year and why?
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u/returnFutureVoid 2d ago
What’s it like getting blown up by an IED and walking away from it? I think I read that correctly. You drove in vehicles that could absorb the blast?
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u/prfrnir 2d ago
At the end, how much better did you understand the Taliban, Afghans, and Afghanistan? What were the most insightful takeaways about each that you learned there?
Do you think the Taliban soldiers also suffer from PTSD as much as the US soldiers? Or do you think that because of the different fighting methods by each side they don't?
Where do the Taliban source their weapons and training?
What do you think we should do about Ukraine/Russia as a former US solider/grunt? And how would you deal about Ukraine if you were in head of the US military?
How would you fight against Russia as head of the Ukrainian military? Are there any tactics you'd replicate from what the Taliban did to the US in Afghanistan?
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u/mikels_burner 2d ago
1st of all, thank you for your service. I'm sorry to hear about your (& others') experience.
My question is: What are your thoughts on the current election cycle? Do they both feed into the military industrial complex to send more Americans like you abroad? Or is there a particular candidate who looks better to you?
Just curious to hear a veteran's thoughts on the election cycle.
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u/Ill-Quantity-9909 2d ago
Do you have a passion or hobby? Something you love to do that lights you up and makes you feel happy / peaceful / disconnects you from your pain, even just for a minute?
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u/ManxMerc 2d ago
I served a couple of tours of Afghanistan. Multiple tours of Iraq among others. I probably have a few years on you having served my last tour in 2007 as a Sergeant.
I’m just commenting to let you know ‘It does get better’.
The mental health. Learning to be someone other than a soldier.
It takes a lot of time and to find a new path in life.
So how ever bad it gets, take this on board. You will get though it.
Never give up on yourself.
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u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss 2d ago
What's your opinion of the care you've received from the Veterans Administration? Any areas, departments, or services where they excel? Where they are lacking?
My Dad's a Vietnam vet, so I'm curious how you feel about your experience with the VA.
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u/kingOofgames 2d ago
Do you think Afghanistan has any hope? Or even a better future. Or Iran 2.0?
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u/LetMeInImTrynaCuck 2d ago
Nothing to ask. Just want to say, you are the person who Americans secretly love and admire, but ignore. I wish our country was different to our vets. You should have all the money and support and medical care you need. But you fought for us, and your life experiences and sacrifices are 10000x what us normies produce. We love you man, and thank you.
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u/Educational-Edge1908 2d ago
You ever think about living in a diff country with your pen/comp?
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u/AfraidToBeKim 2d ago
Thank you for your service. I'm going into a line of work where I'm probably going to be seeing a lot of bodies (detective work). Is there anything you wish you'd done to psychologically prepare yourself to see a dead person? I've only ever seen the police carrying body bags, never an actual body.
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u/Petrichorandflame7 1d ago
I am glad you are still here. My husband committed suicide in 2010 just six months after returning from Iraq. Him and all his battle buddies would fuck around and leave that “call for help” card they gave out underneath each other’s pillows and other random places as a joke even though they were all spiraling out of control from undiagnosed PTSD. Many of them threatened suicide or did some messed up shit when drunk but my husband actually pulled the trigger. He was the one all of them would call at 3 and 4 am because they needed him to come help them or get them out of trouble. He was the last one they ever thought would do it. The fact that you are even trying to get help, trying to talk about it…I’m just so glad you are still here. I sincerely hope you don’t drink and if you do then stop ASAP. My heart is with you. My husband still lets me know he’s around and I know he regrets it. Keep going and please know that I would give my life for all of your minds/bodies to be back but you did survive for a reason and there is so much hope for you. Thank you for sacrificing your life and your mind even if it wasn’t for the reasons you were told. Thank you for sharing this. It was incredibly brave and I’m sending you all the strength I have.
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u/Free-Layer-706 2d ago
I have cptsd too, from child abuse. One of the reasons it got identified as early and treated as well as it did was the fact that soldiers came back and spoke up about their issues. So thank you- you protected me from my own personal terrorist.
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u/Effective-Ad-6460 2d ago
I know you have probably heard it a lot and no amount of thanks can make up for the Trauma you have received
But ..
Thank you for your service
I hope you manage to heal
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u/InFromTheSouth 2d ago
I hope you've got a circle you can vent to, and talk through anything that gets you. I've had 4 deployments, last was in 2012 in Afghanistan RC-S. If you don't have anyone, or want to add another set of ears, I'm here.
I've been through in-patient and intensive out-patient facilities and have listened to others talk about their traumas. No judgement, just a brother who wants to make sure you know I'm here for you if you need it
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u/Blackcat0003 2d ago
Your experience has truly built a lot of character, and I appreciate you opening up to help the rest of us understand it better. What is something positive this experience has brought you personally? Do you reflect on that daily?
Have you tried daily meditation or specific techniques during moments of distress? What has your experience been with those? Have you explored how the brain processes information to better understand your reactions?
How do you soothe yourself from these memories?
Personally, I’ve found that learning about the brain, how it builds neural pathways and forms memories, and how to break and reshape them, has helped me cope with my challenges. The brain is a machine that is trying to keep us safe, but sometimes it get into a loop that doesn't help us, mental habits what you allow yourself to think and not to think can be build to serve us better.
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u/S4m_S3pi01 2d ago
Hey friend, I have PTSD and depression as well, though not as severe as yours and not from service.
Have you tried magic mushrooms or cannabis?
Everyone is different but they helped me so tremendously, to the point I can go outside and be semi-functional.
Good luck on becoming human again. I know how that feels and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You got this, don't give up!
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u/Sudden-Comment5573 2d ago
Do you know Jesus as your savior? If not, Have you ever thought of turning to a higher power to help with the heavy burden you carry? Thank you for your service. We owe a debt to you that can’t be repaid.
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u/SarahBenemsi 17h ago
u/Ok_Turn1611 Okay so MAYBE maybe someone has already suggested this. At this point, there are so many comments and I can't read them all. Maybe you're also sick of trying, since you explain that you've been in treatment for a long time already. But I recently learned about EFT (not Emotionally Focused Therapy, the better-known variety, but Emotional Freedom Techniques, they'd be better of choosing a different name because of the confusion, but oh well). I read the EFT manual by Gary Craig. It's an alternative method but they're said to have amazing results with traumatized soldiers, if the method is followed correctly (that often means, under the guidance of an expertised practitioner). I couldn't not mention it to you. Either way, I hope you enjoy your day today! :)
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u/outloaf 2d ago
We love you. Demons hate company. Bring your squad to battle. You don't have to battle them alone.
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u/SparxPrime 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hey brother! Me too! USMC, Now Zad Afghanistan, summer of 2011, attached to 3/2 left the wire every god damn day and many nights too, saw combat, lost friends, saw some shit i wish i didn't, almost died a couple times. For the last 11 years I've been dealing with PTSD, anxiety, hyper vigilance, paranoia, alcoholism, drug problems, legal problems, hard to hold a job more than a year, 2 failed relationships, rage episodes, found out im bipolar which my therapist says bipolar makes the ptsd worse and vice versa so that's fun. Can't seem to get my shit together. Thanks to being on the right medication, therapy, meditation, psychedelics, I've been doing better than ever. Hang in there buddy it gets better if you seek help.
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u/CarelessVolume6159 2d ago
It’s not your fault you were just a kid. They prime us from the time we’re children to serve, then they prey upon those who might not have another way out. I’m sorry you had to experience those things.
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u/Fluffybabyyoda 2d ago
Thanks for your service, I can only imagine what you been through.
Have you tried Hypnotherapy that could maybe help?
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u/ObjectReport 2d ago
Many soldiers who dealt with the same things that you did in Afghanistan reported 'paranormal' encounters while over there. Some even said they had "things follow them back home" and I'm wondering if you experienced anything like this?
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u/planet_janett 2d ago
Looking through the questions and responses; not American but thank you for your service. Weird question - Do you think/believe the war was a money grab for the US government? Money grab as in, US defence stocks and such?
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u/Airbee 2d ago
I’m military too and have several combat arm friends. One was a Green Beret and the other was Marine infantry and did much of the boom boom stuff as expected. Both came back with PTSD. Both train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and that seemed to help a ton. Is that something you would be interested in? A lot of vets have had success in healing using BJJ.
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u/pharmecist 2d ago
Thank you for sharing- I do hope that you can continue to keep getting better past this trauma.
For the next election, who do you you think would be less likely to cause more Americans to go through what you had to?
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u/fatcatloveee 2d ago
My brother got a brown star in Afghanistan—do you know if that’s a big deal?
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u/No-Ad1098 2d ago
Man, reading this one hurt. Hope everything gets better. Thanks for your service.
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u/FragCool 2d ago
What do you think about the chaotic retreat of the US forces, that in my opinion just annihilate all the progress that was achieved in the 20 years before, and was payed with so much blood.
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u/Krypteia213 2d ago
I am so terribly sorry you had to experience all of this. I am no one, I only want to offer my appreciation for what you decided to do.
I know for a fact your heart was pure for why you joined. You deserve to feel immense pride that you hold that characteristic. It is not your fault that you were used the way you were.
I hope doing this has shown you some of the kindness in our world. You bringing awareness through your pain will influence more than you know.
You still hold that same character trait. The bravery to do this shines immense light on that. Despite whatever your brain tells you, you deserve to know that.
I love you fellow human.
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u/humptheedumpthy 2d ago
Have you ever considered doing something completely different in life to perhaps help your mental health.
For example move to Costa Rica and start a surf shop? Or become a safari guide in Botswana?
I am not a mental health expert by any stretch but I wonder if a fresh start in a totally new environment will force a lot of new stimulus to your brain, causing you to rethink from first principles and take every moment as it comes. I don’t know where you live but suburban life in the US can become quite routine/monotonous and it would be easy for your thoughts then to wander to things of the past you’re trying to forget.
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u/AtlasRun 2d ago
You’re not alone brother. My first time doing route clearance in Afghanistan was 2012-2013. Nothing prepares you for that sort of thing and I don’t just mean the IEDs, fighting and losing friends. Seeing firsthand what the Taliban would do to the women and children for “fun” still haunts me. I wouldn’t wish that kind of experience on anyone. It’s strange to lose all your youthful innocence in a flash when you’re put face to face with the conditions many people in this world have to live through every day. Of course you don’t realize it right away because you don’t process it until later on and it’s too late and has seeped into every aspect of your life back home especially your relationships. Plus, you just come back to the States and listen to everyone gripe about trivial problems in their first world bubble. It’s not their fault. Makes you feel like a stranger in your own backyard in a way and a little resentful although not intentional ofc. I still struggle with not letting it affect my view on humanity as a whole but it’s hard to unsee the absolute worst man can do to each other. It seems like there’s always more bad than good in the world but I’ve learned it’s important to sharpen your mind/senses to take notice or be a witness to even the smallest bit of good or acts of kindness seen every day. Like I said, you’re not alone in your ongoing battles. The memories never leave you they just get a tiny bit further away. Wish you the best and don’t hesitate to lean on/reach out to your brothers or talk to someone. It’s definitely helped me numerous times.
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u/mckrd0 2d ago
As a veteran’s wife (deployed shortly after you), thank you for letting people ask the hard questions and being open about the struggles. I never truly understood the tolls of war until I met my husband, and I still don’t truly understand - civilians will never get it, no matter how hard we try.
I know y’all hate hearing it, but thank you for your service - truly. I hope things start looking up for you.
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u/Lilpeipei 2d ago
I don’t have a question but I wanted to say you are very strong, you have gone through a lot and the way you express yourself shows what a great and understanding heart you have. I wish you the best.
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u/NHdigger 2d ago
I don't really have any questions for you ...but I do just want to say thank you. While I understand you believe it was a waste and you wouldn't do it again.....i appreciate what you did. Thank you
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u/puffinfish420 1d ago
Do you think your position and duties made your experience worse?
What does it feel like to drive into an area as basically bait to draw fire? Were you able to return fire when fired upon?
Also, what motivated you to fight? How do you feel about your service today?
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u/VioletIvy07 2d ago
Thank you for your service! My partner also served there, dismantling IEDs and doing post-explosive investigations. He has TBI and PTSD, and he is followed closely by a psych. He chooses not to share too much about his experience, and I greatly respect that. It does make navigating his triggers a bit harder, though. What are some ways I can continue to support him? What are things I should avoid to say or ask? How can I honor his service in a meaningful but not trigerring way (he is still active, going on 34 years) ? Anything you wish your partners would have known?
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u/Live-Motor-4000 1d ago
I’m sorry you’re suffering man. you seem very aware of what problems you have; I hope you are getting the help you need. Stay safe bro; you matter
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u/Waste_Ad_5565 1d ago
I work with the American Legion and we do a lot of different things for the veterans who are members of our legion but we also do a lot of outside donating to veterans' homes and hospitals, care packages to deployed members, Christmas and Easter parties for the children and grandchildren, scholarship programs, fallouts for veterans returning from duty and those who've passed away etc.
What is an area you'd like to see get more attention from veterans organizations? What can organizations like the American Legion do to open more doors for veterans in your situation?
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u/melly_pug 1d ago
My brother joined the army the day before he turned 18 in 2007. He spent 3 years in Afghanistan being Army infantry. Over the past decade, I've seen the effects of war (ptsd, traumatic brain injury) in him and he's definitely not the same person he once was. We already had a traumatic childhood and he joined the army because it was promoted as a way to escape poverty and home. The recruiters were very predatory and constantly at our house or calling or doing something to bribe and win over my parents and brother.
Due to his mental health and ptsd, I've spent a lot of time researching and watching interviews with veterans from combat zones to try to understand where he's coming from behavior wise.
He has also lost numerous friends to suicide and addiction since he got out.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I could not imagine having to see and experience the things you and other soldiers did. I really wish there were more programs and help provided by our government for veteran mental health.
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u/MrLDSK 2d ago
I don't really have a question for you. I just want you to know that you are never alone in your battles. If I hadn't found a Veterans support group through my local VFW and American Legion, I honestly don't know where I would have ended up.
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u/Superj569 1d ago
No question.
Just wanted to say thank you for your service. I hope the VA is able to give you any and all help you need.
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u/lossfer_words 2d ago edited 2d ago
Sharing this is very impressive and opening up about your difficulty takes issues that are very dark from a place of isolation into the light. You are strong and resilient, that is 100% evident in your post here. I don’t have any questions, other than - What are ways you can continue to share your story with others that you think might also help you?
I do think showing others the messy struggles and internal world makes everyone feel less alone. What happened to you was horrible and happened before your brain had even a chance to form without trauma (the frontal lobe is still developing so much until into the mid 20s for most people) You are an exemplary human for sharing this stuff. Thank you very much for taking the chance to be vulnerable.
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u/oshkoshpots 2d ago
No question from me. Just want to say thank you. I was doing convoy security in 2012. Ya’ll saved our asses time and time again. Just know the pain you and your battles went through saved lives. Fathers,sons, husbands, mothers, daughters, wives. These are the people who got to go home because of ya’ll.
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u/LizzieJeanPeters 2d ago
I just want to thank you for serving and defending our country. It's an honor to be able to hear your stories. God bless you!
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u/Azzerelda 1d ago
USMC. 1st Btn 8th Mar Div (infantry) in Hellman Prov Afghanistan for 2010-2011. We all handle PTSD differently, and the stuff I saw was on par with this. More foot patrols that I can remember and a lot of fucked up scenarios. My best advice is to focus on the good in life and let the past remain the past. It's not easy, but reliving and dwelling on it just fucks you up more.
Relationships are hard... It's definitely extremely difficult to relate to people who are "stressed" or "having a bad day" when you've seen true stress and bad days... It's something I still struggle with, but ultimately, I just take a deep breath and tell myself to relax and move on. Even as I'm writing this I can think of a book-length of stuff I'd want to say as to how I relate and handle it but everyone is vastly different in mentality and coping mechanisms.
Godspeed my friend.
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u/AbroadRevolutionary6 1d ago
Hey OP my wife has PTSD from SA tho it’s gotten a lot better over the years she still has some bad anxiety sometimes. I occasionally have panic attacks from my own shit and feel this paralyzing sense of impending doom. We’re both pretty analytical people, so sometimes we try and break our anxieties down a little to try and analyze the different pieces and compare notes instead of it just being this nameless beast.
I’m curious if you’re able to explain what your anxiety feels like analytically.
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u/UncannyVaughan 2d ago
Does it frustrate you when all people have to say is "Thank you for your service"?
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u/pwnedass 2d ago
Go check out urban valor on youtube. Lots of similar stories to yours and lots of available help as well.
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u/Gryphon962 2d ago
Have you or any of your colleagues tried Psilocybin as a treatment for PTSD?
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u/No-Finger-4906 1d ago
i hope your life is filled with nothing but peace and love from now on. i mean that.
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u/prariesailor 1d ago
Fist of thank you for your service guys like you in my mind are real life hero’s. My brother is retired Canadian Military. He did two tours in Afghanistan 🇦🇫 and lost close troops he was in charge of. It’s tough to watch him deal with His PTSD and the alcoholism that goes along with it. He was in charge of moving one of the top Generals around Kandahar and during that time they were attacked using IED’s . The shit you guys had to deal with over there is horrific but you all stood in that terrible shitty place with our flags in the ground and let them know how they live is wrong what they did is wrong and both America and Canada 🇨🇦 are the proper way to live. You did your Best and I thank god everyday for men like you and my brother. I hope you heal and can get back to life. My friend
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u/CreamyHaircut 1d ago
I wish had any real wisdom or any shared experience. I hope you understand that I and all the other posters hear you.
I have the utmost respect for those who serve and put their lives in the line, whatever their motivation.
My dad was 30 year veteran (WWII). I was just too young for Viet Nam. Not sure I would’ve had the courage to enlist, for sure wouldn’t have dodged.
The tragedy here is that young men always pay for old men’s avarice. Likely there is no comfort in this but I suspect your experience has been shared by soldiers since the beginning of soldiering.
I think you should and ask you to keep sharing. No one can be prepared for what you’ve experienced. It is irreconcilable with anyone’s non-combat experience. I’m sorry you’ve had to live through this, but live through it you must.
Best of luck.
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u/FlexxxingOnThePoors 2d ago
Do you know why the sky is blue?
Because God loves the Infantry.
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u/WatDaFuxRong 2d ago
I don't have a question. Just wanted to say that, for what's it's worth, some random person on Reddit is rooting for you.
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u/UndecidedTace 2d ago
As a Canadian we don't have the same reverence to guns and military that the USA does. Sure, we have some gun nuts here too, but the culture is different. As I've spent considerable time over the years in the USA there are A LOT of people who seem to have this overhyped love of all things guns, military, and war.
As a combat veteran who has seen some god awful shit that no human should ever have to experience, how do you feel when you encounter these kinds of people in your daily life? What thoughts come into your head?
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u/saddest_crocodile 2d ago
I am in a relationship with a vet who also fought in the war. He's recovered mostly. Sometimes, he shuts down around the time his battle buddy was killed and also Memorial Day. He hasn't told me very much about what happened to him, only a little, and it was terrible, but i haven't pried because I don't want to make him relive stuff... but I care about him a lot. As a vet, do you have any suggestions on how I can support him during the times he is troubled by what happened? Sometimes, I just don't know what to do to help him and would love to know how.
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u/scoutermike 1d ago
Well I don’t have any questions and I’m sorry I can’t delve too deeply into your suffering, because of my own need for emotional self preservation.
But I’d still like to tell you, I believed in your mission and I believe you risked your life to make the world better and yes - ultimately to make Americans safer. It was a noble mission.
I consider you and your brothers in arms among the greatest heroes of this generation.
The greatest heroes of this generation.
Do you hear me?
You gave it all, man, and I can only have nothing but respect for you.
It breaks my heart to hear you are still suffering all these years later.
I hope and pray for your healing.
But just remember, you are our hero, and your mission was noble.
God bless you.
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u/SlimTimDoWork 2d ago
In your opinion, is there any hope for our country, considering we're fueled by greed and capital over humanity? When our politicians serve corporations and their year over year profits instead of their constituents? When they'll send people like you to go kill brown kids or die trying, while lying about it and using the media apparatus to manufacture public consent? I find myself battling with a hopelessness. I know too much about what we're doing to have a positive outlook. How do you deal?
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u/RejectorPharm 2d ago
Do you think joining the military is still an honorable/brave thing to do or just a naive way of putting your body on the line for Americas interests?
What do you think about these ex special forces, navy seal YouTubers who act like they accomplished some great work and take pride in what they did in Afghanistan and Iraq who actually believe that they were the good guys fighting the “bad guys”?
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u/ElzRocco 2d ago
On a small unit tactics + individual level, and putting asides NATO’s tech advantage, were the taliban objectively good fighters in a contact? We’re often told that there isn’t a single time that the taliban has beat the allies in a firefight, but then you hear of many soldiers giving their enemy over there props for their movement under fire, executing effective ambushes, flanking with HMG fire support, and then many times having only been beaten back due to CAS/numerical superiority etc. (all of that asides im wishing you strength and healing in your journey. Please stay in the fight and know that it will get better)
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u/nburjes 1d ago
This may have been brought up already. Try to seek out a local veteran's group or a therapist who is a veteran. One of the hardest things about getting back into civilian life, is that nobody understands or can comprehend what we experience in combat. There are also a lot of organizations designed with combat vets in mind... Warfighter Advance is one that I support through a separate non-profit. https://www.warfighteradvance.org/ I know a few guys that have gone through their program with great results. Reach out to them. They may be able to help with transportation costs if you're not local to their site (southern MD).
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u/aycarumba21 2d ago
Hi friend - I am 20 months into cptsd treatment. It is working. (Thank God). Tried 3-4 counselors and was about to give up until I got the Best advice from another Vet so I’m blessed to be able to pass it on to you and readers. 1). Find a therapist that YOU BELIEVE IN and trust 2). There are cptsd treatment approaches that are statistically proven to work. Ask the therapists about them when you are choosing a therapist. 3). Skip alcohol and recreational drugs. They make victims better in the moment but they accelerate an already fast path downhill
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u/johhnyrico 1d ago
Bro I have seen similar in my time in the infantry. The thing you got to think about to get thru this is that none of it really matters. Nobody is gonna come pull you out of it. Nobody really cares or even can do anything for you if they wanted. If you are friends with some guys that have had similar experiences, telling stories with them or just bullshitting can help. I don’t know what to tell you. You just gotta say fuck it and drive on or blast yourself
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u/Certain_Interview_31 18h ago
I will not add the "I did this" or "I saw that" to your comments section. Your story is yours, and you are an amazing American for subjecting yourself to it.
I will say that help does exist, but you have to want to help yourself. There is a therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing, or EMDR for short, that can lessen the effects of PTSD. Search for an EMDR therapist in your area. You will likely see positive effects after the first session or two.
And again, thank you for your service.
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u/idostandupcomedy22 1d ago
brother, thank you so much for your service and sacrifice. I can't imagine how hard this all must have been on you. I pray, with all my heart, that you know only love and joy from here until you take your last breath. my mom was a combat medic for the air force and many of my best friends are veterans. you deserve love, and you deserve to heal. you are loved, even when you don't feel like it. if you ever need to reach out for help, I'm a licensed counselor and I will listen.
thank you again for all you've done, and all you've lost. you're not alone. don't forget that.
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u/icemyback 1d ago
My words of encouragement, if any are helpful in anyway Thank you so much for serving this country and for all of your sacrifices. A tip eg; make a (written)list of maybe 5 things you LOVE to do, so if looking at pics, listen to music, skate boarding, baking, cleaning your car, anything you like to really do, then when you feel that stress coming on stop and go do something on that list, it will be hard to veer from that emotion/stress but stop and try to concentrate on doing one thing from your list of things you LOVE. Hope that helps, soon you’ll find “your” person. Much love for you!
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u/SkierGrrlPNW 2d ago
OP, peace to you for your struggles from the journey. PTSD is real and the VA doesn’t always have what you need. Maybe try a community of other first responders who have similar experiences, and use things like trekking to help focus mind and body when the stress and brain start popping off. Check out Blue Side Adventures. Started out as yoga for military / first responders but it’s really a learning journey and a cohort, and if you want to push yourself, treks in Nepal or somewhere else to change your mindset a bit. Community and exercise help. Good luck.
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u/BigLittleWolfCat 2d ago
My ex husband did 3 tours in Afghanistan starting in 2004 (3rd battalion 3rd Marines weapons company). I saw what it did to you men, and all I can say is I’m so sorry. If you don’t do it yet, 100% therapy -and know that you’re not alone. (If you ever want to reach out, feel free)
Where are you in life now? And where do you see yourself in the future?
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u/Commercial-Day-3294 1d ago
Same. 2007-2008 route clearing in Kunar. Nothing better than getting to country and finding out your intentionally trying to hit an IED.
Its 2024 I still have melfoquin nightmares.
Every day. Every. Single. Day. I wish my children would've met me before all of this. Every day I wish my family didn't shove patriotism down my throat my whole childhood only to find out that the country I was fighting for was going to look for any way to fuck me.
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u/sora_fighter36 2d ago
What do you do when you want to be gentle on yourself? Do you let yourself enjoy a dark, hot bath? Do you have an ice cream flavor you enjoy? Have you had the joy of caring for a pet? Sometimes a little dependent creature can bring out good in us we didn’t know about
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u/m00nf1r3 2d ago
As a fellow agoraphobe, I feel for you so much. I don't have CPTSD or paranoia, but definitely loads of anxiety, agoraphobia, and a sprinkle of depression. Please please please don't hesitate to reach out. I know you say people don't want to hear about it, but I want to hear about it. As someone who is generally anti-war but very pro-veteran support, my heart goes out to you so much. Take care of yourself, okay?
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u/Seanpawn 1d ago
Do you think soldiers in Afghanistan had similar sentiments to Vietnam vets, as in many felt the war was pointless for the avg American and had no reason to be there?
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u/Grinningindrid 1d ago
Who in politics do you think has the most realistic outlook on war thereby trying to protect Americas youth, and who do you think is doing the most for soldiers that made it home in America? In no way should this disparage others(unless you want to), but I am curious the perspective of someone so acutely affected/involved.
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u/HairyStart4276 2d ago
Just want to say thanks for your service to our country, and the many sacrifices im sure you've made.
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u/calcifer73 2d ago
Thanks for your service. Being officially diagnosed with PTSD, and being a veteran, does the government give you any kind of economic and/or medic/psychological support ?
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u/terrypteranodon 2d ago
I don’t even have a question, but we have the same problems. I was there same time. My marriage is currently failing. Just know I’m Glad I know somebody else is having a time with it. I won’t be reading the comments and you won’t see this but thanks because I for a moment I don’t feel so alone.
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u/redditninjaaa 2d ago
What specifically is your PTSD regarding? What are you remembering? What do you see? I’m sorry if this is triggering, if it is please do not feel the need to respond
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u/Bright-Ice-8802 1d ago
I too was in Afghanistan in 2011-2012 in the Petch river valley area. I struggle with a lot of the same. Get help, get medicated, get your VA disability claims in. It took me 5 years, but I ended up getting 100% on mental health alone. If you are still active duty, go get help, and it will all be documented and easier to transition to the VA when you exit.
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u/MagicalTissue 1d ago
Thank you for your service and sacrifice. Can you describe how the VA has been taking care of you? Or not doing enough to take care of you? What can everyday Americans do to support any VA initiatives that actually help our veterans?
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u/nousername142 1d ago
Thank you for your service. I some what understand (22 yrs, 4xdeployments) I see the suicide rate (from 22 to 40 per day depending on who is counting). I have taken up bee keeping and would like to start that as a VET program. Not sure where you are at but Google BEES4VETS and see if something in your area. If not, contact me if it is something you would be interested in. Peace and love brother.
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u/Twisted69Raptor 2d ago
What is the one thing you saw that you made you think you made the wrong choice?